Choosing Peace Over Control
There is a great feeling when we have everything under control. We know what to do. We know what to expect. It’s comfortable. It’s relieving. It can even feel peaceful.
But there are times when we try to have that same control over things we aren’t actually capable of controlling. And that is not a great feeling. It’s uncomfortable. It’s heavy.
When I try to control things that are not within my control, it leads to stress, anxiety, and frustration. I’ve had to learn to really pay attention to what is in my control and what is out of my control, and to let go when something simply isn’t mine to carry.
I know I can’t control other people, even though sometimes I wish I could. When I try, it doesn’t work out in my favor. I feel let down. I feel forceful when I don’t want to be. And I’m not allowing them to be fully themselves. I can only control myself.
I can’t control outcomes. I can control how I show up, but there will always be pieces of a situation that are outside of my control. When I try to control outcomes, I replay and replay things in my mind. I overthink. I drain my energy with all the what ifs instead of being present and enjoying what is right in front of me.
I do have control over my thoughts. Sometimes they feel out of control and harder to manage, but I still have choice. I can reframe them. I can shift my focus toward what is helpful instead of harmful.
I do have control over my behaviors and how I act. I control the effort I give, the words I choose, the boundaries I set, and the energy I bring into a space.
And when I bring myself back to that, when I return to what is actually mine, I feel lighter. Calmer. More grounded.
Letting go of what isn’t in my control doesn’t mean I don’t care. It simply means I’m choosing to place my energy where it can actually make a difference.
And that is where the peace truly lives. 💛
Reflection: Where in my life am I trying to control something that isn’t actually mine to control? What part of this situation is truly within my control? What would it look like to trust myself instead of trying to control everything around me?
Action Step: When you catch yourself replaying or overthinking this week:
1. Pause.
2. Ask: Is this in my control?
3. If not, take one deep breath and shift your focus.
