When Old Fears Show Up in New Situations

I have become aware over the last few months that sometimes I am showing up in a situation still holding onto my past experiences and the fears I have carried so tightly, without even realizing it.

Those fears protected me at one time. They felt true. They felt real. They were true and real based on what I had experienced. But I realized I was holding onto them and allowing them to dictate my current experiences. They were creating biases within my belief system.

They were making me create stories in my head. Stories that were not necessarily true. Stories that helped me feel in control of all the “what if” situations that could arise. But those stories were keeping me out of the present. They were keeping me stuck. They were causing me to react in ways that didn’t align with what I know now.

When we hold onto old fears and old stories, they can feel so real that we don’t always recognize them as stories. We begin to experience the present through the lens of the past.

As I became aware of this, I was able to start processing it. I was able to feel it in my body. I was able to comfort it. I was able to love and thank it for keeping me safe at a time when I needed it.

Then, I was able to let it go.

I was able to watch it slowly swoop away and allow myself to open up to new possibilities. New awareness. The awareness that it didn’t need to keep me safe from that anymore.

I still feel those fears show up sometimes, but they aren’t as strong. I can notice them, acknowledge them, and let them go more softly without holding onto them. They are no longer useful to me. They are no longer protecting me. Instead, they are holding me back. They are inhibiting me.

There is a sense of liberation that comes from letting go. There is also discomfort. The discomfort of change. The discomfort of releasing something that once helped us feel safe.

But discomfort doesn’t always mean something is wrong. Sometimes, it means we are stepping outside of what is familiar. Sometimes, it means we are making room for something new.

The fears that once protected me do not get to control me anymore. I can thank them. I can honor what they did for me. And I can still choose to let them go.

Sometimes growth means recognizing that something can be both worthy of gratitude and ready to be released. I can be grateful for how those fears once protected me and still choose not to carry them forward.

Reflection: Is there an old fear or story that may still be influencing how you respond today? What was that fear trying to protect you from? Is it responding to what is happening now, or to something that happened in the past?

Action Step: When you notice yourself creating a story about what could happen, pause and write down: What story am I telling myself? What do I actually know to be true right now? What else could be possible?