The “I Get To” Reframe

One of my dear friends planted a seed with me a few months ago, a simple reframe that completely changed how I approach my day.

She told me to try replacing “I have to” with “I get to.” At first, I laughed. It sounded too easy. But then I tried it:

I have to do my morning routine.
I have to send emails.
I have to practice my dance.
I have to make dinner.
I have to bring my son to basketball practice.

Man, even typing those words feels heavy. It’s like the energy drains right out of me with each sentence. It feels burdensome like I’m being controlled or like I don’t even have a choice. By the end of the list, I don’t want to do any of it anymore.

But when I change it to I get to, everything feels lighter.

I get to do my morning routine.
I get to send emails.
I get to practice my dance.
I get to make dinner for my family.
I get to bring my son to basketball, because I get to be his mom.

It instantly shifts the energy. I feel grateful, even excited. The heaviness turns into a reminder of how lucky I am to be able to do these things. What once felt like a list of obligations becomes a list of opportunities.

Go ahead and try it right now.
Think about what you have planned for the day.
Say it first with I have to. How does that feel?
Now say it again with I get to. What’s different?

I started bringing this reframe into my morning routine. Each day, as I look ahead, I run through what’s coming and say I get to before each thing. On the tough days, it helps me get moving and feel a little more grounded. On good days, it reminds me to stay grateful.

And it’s just as important to practice on the good days; the ones that already feel light and easy. Why? Because the more we practice these tools when we don’t need them, the easier they come when we do.

I like to think of it as building a mindset muscle. Doing my daily reps to strengthen the habit of reframing. And the more I practice shifting from “have to” to “get to,” the more freedom and joy I find in the little moments that make up my day.

The more I practice, the stronger the muscle gets. It’s a small reframe that changes how I move through my day, from feeling pressured to feeling privileged.

Reflection: What’s one thing you’ve been saying I have to about lately, and how might it feel to shift that to I get to? What area of your life (work, family, health, creativity) could benefit most from this I get to mindset? How would your mornings feel different if you started them by saying, “I get to…” before each part of your day?

Action Step: Write down 3 things you “have to” do this week and reword them to “I get to.” Read them out loud. Share this reframe with a friend or coworker and see what shifts for them too.